Sometimes an uncontrollable feeling of sadness grips us, he said. We recognize...– Paulo Coelho
The Small White Casket
By Brave’s Grandma, Wynn Bauman It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Last May a call came to my classroom to come to the office. On the counter sat a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers with a small card addressed to me. I quickly opened it and read, “Dear Mom, You are going to be a grandma early in December!” signed my youngest son and his wife. I told the secretary and she cheered...
Brave Love: Will Brave be here in six years? →
christyangelle: Andrew and I climb into the back of the Katt’s van. I wedge myself between Evie and Jackson’s car seats and Andrew sits next to Zara. I mentally ready myself as the prism hanging from their rearview mirror usually initiates Evie’s four year old innocent questions to me about Brave. …
Brave Love: the 8th →
christyangelle: Eight months today. Brave feels so far away. His absence filling our lives, haunting poverty in our family. It’s been eight aching months, and a lifetime of them to keep breathing through. I pull pictures out and trace his face. Will I know him when I see him? No mother should wonder if…
The madness of love is a blessed fate; and if we understand this we would seek...– Thirteenth century poet and mystic Hadewijch of Antwerp
Hope. Shit. Love.
Oh how reluctant my heart is to attach once again. I have tried to violently control it, my fingernails lodged in deep, dragging it unto submission, unto love, unto connection. Today I wish love worked that way. My timid cardiac muscle pleads for mercy, begs for kindness, or even just bandaid, anything to offer it some type of release. My heart has a better memory than my mind. It remembers,...
The Art of Lament
To Witness & Hold
christyangelle: “We have been battered by modern times into obsessive problems solvers, but as life pares us down into only what is essential, it becomes clear that the deepest sufferings of heart and spirit cannot be solved, only witnessed and held.” -Mark Nepo “….the deepest sufferings of heart and...
My tears have been my food day and night– Psalm 42